(originally published Feb 1, 2006) 

I've been joking with Lexy about creating some kind of a resource to inform the general public about "the seedy underbelly" of Internet culture, so I decided to go ahead and start.

These things aren't "scary" things, but they are culturally significant, and things you should know about in today's modern techno-nerd world, lest you be left behind wearing "Frankie Says Relax" t-shirts or "Frodo Lives" belt buckles.


The first lesson is the word "pwnd". Alternatively, you may see the word spelled "pwnt", "pwned", or "pwn3d". The singular of the word is "pwn".

Pwn is derived from the English word "own", and it is a relic from the technological days of yore. You can witness the activities on which it is derived in dubiously accurate movies such as "Sneakers" or "The Net", where "hackers" compromise the security of a system or facility, thereby "owning" the information or loot within. 

You can imagine the feeling of exhilaration the iceberg felt coursing through it's veins as the Titanic gave it's last breath of life, particularly after Caledon Hockley made his ill-timed "God himself couldn't sink this ship" prediction. That feeling, the feeling of total and complete domination, particularly in the face of fool-hearty bravado, is the essence of pwnage.

To understand how "owned" came to be "pwned", you have to understand online gaming culture. Assume for example that two players choose to fight each other, and rather than a long, drawn out battle, one player slays the other with one efficient slice of his sword. The victorious player, in his moment of glory, (or any of the spectators with a vested interest in the outcome) attempts to type the word "OWNED". However, in their haste, they hit the "p" button instead of the "o" button. (they are side by side on a QWERTY keyboard) Thus, "PWNED" is born.

"PWNED" has become an integral part of our culture. While it initially meant to completely dominate an opponent, it has evolved to mean other things as well. For example, it can sometimes be substituted in the place of "Gotcha!". However, the best example very well may be "I have made a fool of you" or perhaps "I have defeated you (and have simultaneously made you look foolish)".

One final note, because the word "pwn" came into use in written form, there is no official pronunciation. However, the most accepted way to "say" pwn is to rhyme it with "own", so that it is spoken as "poan". Some of the common variations include “own”, “puh-own”, and “pun”.

Here are some examples of pwned in practical use:

Lucky me, I was called to go to Girls Camp this year! (LDS camp for girls aged 12-18) I had a blast. Nate's Mom was nice enough to come out and help with the kids and I had a great time getting to know the girls in our ward and clearing my mind. Yes it was hot, yes it was buggy, yes my cot was wet the last night and I finally escaped to my car for four hours of sleep. What can I say? The best things are never the easiest.

Not to mention seeing my kids' joyful faces when I came home and lining up for 5 minute snuggles. :)